Restless Stimming I’m afraid of the silence. I’m afraid of the stillness. I’m afraid of what my heart might uncover while holding my breath, patiently waiting for an answer— a dream come true, a prayer, a blessing meant for me. So I act in restless frustration. I persist in careless determination— too afraid to hold still, too weak to bear the quiet, too timid to embrace the hush. So I move with mindless busyness, strutting and shuffling and prancing— side to side, top to bottom, angle to degree. Stimming like I exist on the spectrum of Autism and ADHD. Stimming because I’m afraid to hold still.